The Jealousy Map

I’m sitting on the couch, phone in hand, scrolling through Instagram.

Photos of sailboats in the Caribbean. Adventurous couples sailing around the world. Families teaching their kids to surf. People renovating their dream homes in Hawaii.

As I watch these beautiful photos and little videos, I notice a familiar feeling creeping in: Being Jealous.

I wish that were me. I wish my family and I were anchored somewhere in the tropics, diving off our boat into crystal-clear turquoise water.

What a dream.

Then I look up, glance around, and return to reality.

And honestly? My reality isn’t bad at all. We live on a boat. And whenever we want a change of scenery, we can hike through the lush green forests of Washington State.

Of course, that feeling of Jealousy doesn’t disappear instantly. The next time I open Instagram, it’s often right there again.

Can you relate?

Here’s the good news: you can actually use that feeling to your advantage.

Jealousy is really just energy. It’s the emotional charge that comes from realizing someone else has something you wish you had.

Trigger → Comparison → Sense of lack → Sadness or frustration → Action… or staying stuck.

Not every comparison is helpful. Comparing yourself to someone with completely different circumstances, opportunities, or resources can leave you feeling defeated instead of inspired.

But moments of Jealousy can also reveal something incredibly valuable: what you’re longing for.

Instead of pushing the feeling away, you can use it as a compass that points toward what you want more of in your own life.

Julia Cameron, in The Artist’s Way, created a simple exercise she calls the Jealousy Map.

Draw a table with three columns:

1. Who are you jealous of?
2. What exactly are you jealous of?
3. What action could you take to bring more of that into your own life?

I first tried this exercise almost two years ago. When I looked back at my old list while writing this article, I was surprised.

First, I realized how much closer I’d come to many of the things I had once envied.

Second, I noticed that some of the things I desperately wanted back then simply don’t matter to me anymore.

Maybe you’re thinking,

“I already know what I’m jealous of. Writing it down isn’t going to give me more money, more time, or different circumstances.”

And you’re right.

The point isn’t to magically solve everything overnight.

The point is to shift from frustration and passivity into movement.

Some things can change quickly. Others take years. And some things may never change.

But once you know what you’re truly longing for, you can start taking small steps in that direction.

Give it a try.

The worst thing that can happen is that nothing changes.

The best? You might discover that envy wasn’t your enemy after all—it was simply pointing you toward the life you want to create.